A Bit of Clubonomics
It's early 2009. If you're in the U.S. and many places in the industrialized world, your economy is in a little bit of a slump. Actually, if you're in the U.S. the economy is in the crapper and businesses all around are taking it in the shorts. Strip clubs included. So if you're the proprietor of a certain type of establishment, what do you do? Does the typical manager of a middle to high tier strip club have an MBA? I don't have any real insight into that (and don't have one either). I'm more concerned with the customer side of it myself, given that I'm a customer.
To the point. In clubs where I spend a buck or two on a semi-regular basis, as the economy has tanked the prices have not gone down but up. I'll give two examples. Both in Maryland. The first has a couple of things going for it. It is just outside of Northern DC, and as is widely known DC has been the freaking armpit of the strip club world for quite some time. Taking one last run through the clubs so I could review them has been on my list for a while now, but I can't bring myself to do it because they're so lousy it's like throwing money into a fireplace. The other thing is the price of their lap dances. When they were $5-$10 a pop, $10 in the little VIP couches off to the side, they were a good deal. With the upgraded dances being done out in the open and with minor two-way contact, this was a good thing. Irving's over in Capitol Heights has a similar pricing scheme (they're supposedly owned by the same guy) but is a total dive in comparison and for a club that's still open the body count is a little high. So the fact you get ridiculous amounts of mileage on the cheap at Irving's is offset by other factors.
So Club A has a niche in cheap but decent lappers just outside of DC. With the crowds thinning and customers already starting to cut back a bit, bumping the price of a lapper on the VIP couches to $15 really starts to cut into the sense of "good deal". Is it still a good deal? You start getting into $20 territory and Showcase Theater up the road in Beltsville has better dances and better dancers. Are the girls getting more or is the club taking all of markup? I wouldn't know, because the only reason I occasionally dropped by here and put up with the low rent atmosphere was I could use it as a cool down from other clubs (the place is open til 5AM) on the cheap. If you're in the hunt because of location and cut rate prices, don't forget that because the last couple of times I was there the crowd was pretty thin. The VIP room was about the same price, but hardly any of the customers go there anyway. For me, at the VIP price I'm better off at Players Club or Gold Club since there's no comparison at comparable prices. I'm not really that price sensitive when it comes to clubs. A look at the reviews of mine that keep piling up will tell you that, but common sense will tell any club management that when most of your customers are sensitive to price raising them is not a great idea. I stopped going there because the girls were in terrible moods because of the drop in business.
Then there's Club B. No sooner do I decide to write up a review over at TUSCL and give my first Triple 10 rating (because it had definitely earned it)...I walk in here and have a miserable time. Not much of it had to do with the pricing, but it was the whole notion of pricing and common sense that sent the evening over the edge. But before I go there, if you're going to have half a dozen bouncers on duty, how about you make some reasonable attempt at crowd control. That band of roaming morons with the kid that had just turned 21 was pissing half the club off bumping into people, getting in their line of sight , and just plain being suburban drunk and stupid in the middle of one of the nicer clubs in Baltimore City. Not cool. So here's the kicker, the price of the VIP rooms have gone up $30 or more for each of the different levels. Since the patrons of here tend to be price insensitive (or at least pretend to be), not the worst of ideas but isn't pleasing to those who through no fault of their own have multiple girls they check out from time to time. Since the regular lap dances (which are just as crappy as ever holding steady at $30) didn't go up, won't rake them over the coals for being anti-customer, but their customer service could use some work.
The waitresses have gotten pretty bad with the service lately and a little mouthy, too. Since there was so much random traffic with the birthday crew and the odd little dancing Mexican who was bouncing around and throwing balled up dollars at the stage, it was tough to zero in on dancers. So, because I hadn't been able to see her before she hit stage, the dancer I was trying to get in a VIP room wound up on stage after 1AM which was cutting it pretty close. She gets clued in, of course realizes she's about to leave cash on the table and all but flies off stage. If you've ever seen a dancer try and rush up a flight of metal stage stairs in those heels, you'll know why I still got lousy $30 dances after the dust settled from the tight-fisted manager inspiring this article. The room we settled on was somewhere in the $250-$280 range for a half hour, which throws in a couple of round of drinks but not any tip that the lippy staff expects from customers already shouldering more of the cost because the floor customers aren't spending any money. We let the waitress know we're looking for a room (it's 1:30 on the dot), she gets a weird look on her face and goes off in search of the manager. Comes back pretty quickly and says the room is ok but it's only 15 minutes at full price.
How quickly can a person say no? But, really, it wasn't about the no so I ask her to bring the manager over. Two anxious looks later, the waitress was off and the dancer was asking me in a slightly puzzled way if I didn't already know the manager since I've spent a buck or two in the place. No, I didn't know the manager. If a club is run well I shouldn't ever need to speak with the person unless they seek me out (which happens on occasion). So the guy walks up and introduces himself, we shake hands and he's pretty professional. All good. He tells me that people need to be out of rooms by 10 til 2AM because of some regulation or law or whatever, maybe it's true, but that was beside the point. I let him know that I'm fine to take the room for less time, but am not interested in paying full price for half the time. He then gets a little short and says something like "some customers are able to pay the full price with less time", and I honestly don't remember if anything else was said other than thank you before he walked away. I can't remember the last time I got called cheap in a club, and certainly not to my face by some manager who with a little sense might've agreed to say 20 minutes for $200. Instead, he'd rather leave money on the table and piss off one of his most popular dancers when there is no chance anyone else is going to drop VIP money on her that time of night.
This place is still going to get its Triple 10 review because it's half written, but doubtful if it's getting any more of my premium cash for a while. Will they miss the cash? Maybe not, I'm just one guy, but there are two reviews going up to back to back and the second one won't have much in it other than a link to this. Don't screw over your customers. The first example was them taking a risky gamble (and possibly losing), but the second example is just plain stupidity. Actually, I do remember what I said, "It's not that I can't pay the full price since I was going to anyway, I'm just not paying full price for half the time". Hey clubs, give your customers a break every once in a while. It'll work out better for you in the end.
To the point. In clubs where I spend a buck or two on a semi-regular basis, as the economy has tanked the prices have not gone down but up. I'll give two examples. Both in Maryland. The first has a couple of things going for it. It is just outside of Northern DC, and as is widely known DC has been the freaking armpit of the strip club world for quite some time. Taking one last run through the clubs so I could review them has been on my list for a while now, but I can't bring myself to do it because they're so lousy it's like throwing money into a fireplace. The other thing is the price of their lap dances. When they were $5-$10 a pop, $10 in the little VIP couches off to the side, they were a good deal. With the upgraded dances being done out in the open and with minor two-way contact, this was a good thing. Irving's over in Capitol Heights has a similar pricing scheme (they're supposedly owned by the same guy) but is a total dive in comparison and for a club that's still open the body count is a little high. So the fact you get ridiculous amounts of mileage on the cheap at Irving's is offset by other factors.
So Club A has a niche in cheap but decent lappers just outside of DC. With the crowds thinning and customers already starting to cut back a bit, bumping the price of a lapper on the VIP couches to $15 really starts to cut into the sense of "good deal". Is it still a good deal? You start getting into $20 territory and Showcase Theater up the road in Beltsville has better dances and better dancers. Are the girls getting more or is the club taking all of markup? I wouldn't know, because the only reason I occasionally dropped by here and put up with the low rent atmosphere was I could use it as a cool down from other clubs (the place is open til 5AM) on the cheap. If you're in the hunt because of location and cut rate prices, don't forget that because the last couple of times I was there the crowd was pretty thin. The VIP room was about the same price, but hardly any of the customers go there anyway. For me, at the VIP price I'm better off at Players Club or Gold Club since there's no comparison at comparable prices. I'm not really that price sensitive when it comes to clubs. A look at the reviews of mine that keep piling up will tell you that, but common sense will tell any club management that when most of your customers are sensitive to price raising them is not a great idea. I stopped going there because the girls were in terrible moods because of the drop in business.
Then there's Club B. No sooner do I decide to write up a review over at TUSCL and give my first Triple 10 rating (because it had definitely earned it)...I walk in here and have a miserable time. Not much of it had to do with the pricing, but it was the whole notion of pricing and common sense that sent the evening over the edge. But before I go there, if you're going to have half a dozen bouncers on duty, how about you make some reasonable attempt at crowd control. That band of roaming morons with the kid that had just turned 21 was pissing half the club off bumping into people, getting in their line of sight , and just plain being suburban drunk and stupid in the middle of one of the nicer clubs in Baltimore City. Not cool. So here's the kicker, the price of the VIP rooms have gone up $30 or more for each of the different levels. Since the patrons of here tend to be price insensitive (or at least pretend to be), not the worst of ideas but isn't pleasing to those who through no fault of their own have multiple girls they check out from time to time. Since the regular lap dances (which are just as crappy as ever holding steady at $30) didn't go up, won't rake them over the coals for being anti-customer, but their customer service could use some work.
The waitresses have gotten pretty bad with the service lately and a little mouthy, too. Since there was so much random traffic with the birthday crew and the odd little dancing Mexican who was bouncing around and throwing balled up dollars at the stage, it was tough to zero in on dancers. So, because I hadn't been able to see her before she hit stage, the dancer I was trying to get in a VIP room wound up on stage after 1AM which was cutting it pretty close. She gets clued in, of course realizes she's about to leave cash on the table and all but flies off stage. If you've ever seen a dancer try and rush up a flight of metal stage stairs in those heels, you'll know why I still got lousy $30 dances after the dust settled from the tight-fisted manager inspiring this article. The room we settled on was somewhere in the $250-$280 range for a half hour, which throws in a couple of round of drinks but not any tip that the lippy staff expects from customers already shouldering more of the cost because the floor customers aren't spending any money. We let the waitress know we're looking for a room (it's 1:30 on the dot), she gets a weird look on her face and goes off in search of the manager. Comes back pretty quickly and says the room is ok but it's only 15 minutes at full price.
How quickly can a person say no? But, really, it wasn't about the no so I ask her to bring the manager over. Two anxious looks later, the waitress was off and the dancer was asking me in a slightly puzzled way if I didn't already know the manager since I've spent a buck or two in the place. No, I didn't know the manager. If a club is run well I shouldn't ever need to speak with the person unless they seek me out (which happens on occasion). So the guy walks up and introduces himself, we shake hands and he's pretty professional. All good. He tells me that people need to be out of rooms by 10 til 2AM because of some regulation or law or whatever, maybe it's true, but that was beside the point. I let him know that I'm fine to take the room for less time, but am not interested in paying full price for half the time. He then gets a little short and says something like "some customers are able to pay the full price with less time", and I honestly don't remember if anything else was said other than thank you before he walked away. I can't remember the last time I got called cheap in a club, and certainly not to my face by some manager who with a little sense might've agreed to say 20 minutes for $200. Instead, he'd rather leave money on the table and piss off one of his most popular dancers when there is no chance anyone else is going to drop VIP money on her that time of night.
This place is still going to get its Triple 10 review because it's half written, but doubtful if it's getting any more of my premium cash for a while. Will they miss the cash? Maybe not, I'm just one guy, but there are two reviews going up to back to back and the second one won't have much in it other than a link to this. Don't screw over your customers. The first example was them taking a risky gamble (and possibly losing), but the second example is just plain stupidity. Actually, I do remember what I said, "It's not that I can't pay the full price since I was going to anyway, I'm just not paying full price for half the time". Hey clubs, give your customers a break every once in a while. It'll work out better for you in the end.
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